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Friday, December 25, 2009

A Holiday Story

As promised: My essay on the evolution of a cross-cultural holiday tradition, which appeared today on The Washington Post website.

By Steve Luxenberg
The Washington Post

I can't shed any light on whether it snowed for six days and six nights when writer Dylan Thomas was twelve, or twelve days and twelve nights when he was six, but I can say that we have read aloud his 1954 "A Child's Christmas in Wales" on ten Christmases since I was thirty, and six times in the past six years--and on Christmas Day 2009, we will gather to read it aloud once again.

This tradition--those numbers qualify as a tradition by now, I think--doesn't begin with me or my family. For much of my younger life, as well as my wife's, the hours of December 25 passed quietly, without presents or trees or ornaments or mistletoe or fanfare of any sort, unless one of the eight days of Hanukkah happened to fall on Christmas Day.

Some of my Christian friends found it hard to believe that I didn't feel left out. Isn't it hard, they asked, to have nothing to do on Christmas with all this merriment taking place around you?

In a word: No. The glow of Hanukkah candles burns bright in my seasonal memory, but the appearance of outdoor Christmas lights in my neighborhood merely reminds me that fall has arrived, dotting the autumn air with red and green and white, often before the leaves have begun their annual gold-and-orange ritual. I enjoy the traditions of Christmas, but they are not my traditions, and they have never held any special meaning for me.

Dylan Thomas's winter wonderland changed that. My wife, our two children (now 23 and 25) and I have become part of another family's Christmas tradition, the tradition of our good friends Scott and Francie. They no longer remember exactly what prompted them, on Christmas Day 1976, the first Christmas of their married life, to read aloud the story of Mrs. Prothero and her fire, of the Useful and Useless Presents, of the Uncles who "put their large moist hands over their watch chains, groaned a little and slept," and of "the few small aunts," aunties Dosie, Bessie and especially Hannah, "who laced her tea with rum, because it was only once a year."

But now, once a year, wherever Scott and Francie may be, home or away, the slim volume comes out for a re-reading. A once-blank page in the book lists the year, place and names of those in attendance. The book has marked Christmases in Baltimore and Moscow, in New England and Merry Old England. Scott and Francie had no children when they started this tradition; now their three children, ranging in age from 19 to 26, have never known a Christmas without a visit to that mystical, almost mythical snow-bound land near the edge of "the carol-singing sea."

If you asked me on a sun-washed day in July, I couldn't tell you which passages I had read aloud the previous December or why I smile every time at the image of "the Uncles breathing like dolphins." But I can tell you why this quiet, quirky, very Welsh narrative has become a part of my family of four's holiday season: It reminds us of being invited to join in another family's special day, of friendship and warmth, of a holiday tradition with a special meaning all its own.

Sometime after dinner on Christmas Day, we will gather by the snap-crackle-pop of the fire in our friends' living room, all nine of us if we're lucky, and we will take turns, listening and laughing as Thomas's story unfolds once again. Then we will say good night, go out in the chill darkness for the ride home, and we will sleep.

Steve Luxenberg, a Washington Post associate editor, is the author of Annie's Ghosts: A Journey Into a Family Secret.

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Missed Opportunities

I went into this blog with my eyes open and my fingers ready. I vowed (to myself, not in print) that I would avoid the most obvious pitfall of blogging, that I would not let the blog lapse into silence, that I would find something meaningful to say, something that would allow me to post every few weeks.

My last posting? July 19.

Enough said.

Apart from sloth, I do have another excuse. For much of the past five months, I've been on a kind of perpetual book tour for Annie's Ghosts, and blogging about promotion feels too, well, too self-promotional. The prospect of talking about my book, and then going to the keyboard to write about talking about my book, made me self-conscious, I now realize.

That means I missed some opportunities to write about some of the wonderful people I have met in Detroit, New York, Philadelphia, Washington, Atlanta, Baltimore, on the radio and online, where I have received some truly remarkable e-mails from readers in reaction to the book.

I'm particularly fond of the woman who pulled me aside after one of my talks to say: "I was talking about your book at a family gathering, and it led to a conversation about some family secrets that we had always avoided discussing. Thanks for making it safe for us to talk about things that we needed to bring out."

As 2009 comes to a close with family gatherings all around the country, her comment has a particular resonance. Whatever your holiday tradition, whatever your religious tradition, wherever you celebrate those traditions this year, whether close to home or far away, I'm betting that family will be a part of your thoughts if not your celebration.

Later today, I'll post a essay I wrote about my family's holiday tradition, posted today on my newspaper's website, The Washington Post. (It first appeared a week ago as part of an "author holiday blog" at, a website that reviews books and publishes interviews with authors.)

For Annie's Ghosts, this has been quite a year. The book has been featured on NPR's All Things Considered and the Diane Rehm Show, and in Parade Magazine. It landed on the Independent Booksellers Association’s Fall/Winter list of recommendations for reading groups, one of only three nonfiction books to make the cut. Then, earlier this month, it won two prestigious honors: The Library of Michigan chose it as a Michigan Notable Book for 2010, and it was selected for The Washington Post's Best Books of 2009 list.

Back soon with a posting of my holiday essay, which The Post titled "A Jewish Christmas story."

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